Free on Craigslist

by Monica Morrison
You can give them to the birds and bees.

Now, I realize that times are hard for many, and some of you may be asking yourselves whether or not the future holds anything for you. Well, the future probably does not offer much in terms of employment, shelter, or comfort, but it will certainly hold for you everything you can carry off of Craigslist. I know that no matter how bad things get, there will always be something for me here, in the fertile cradle of internet classifieds. Getting good at scavenging shall become the new magic trick.

I wish I picked up all of this crap for a living.


His name is Ed. He is "[p]erfect for holding fliers for a business establishment, or just ...sitting in a corner."
potentially racist sculpture



This beauty "handles well and moves gingerly." If you can scrounge up a thousand dollars, they'll also throw in a motor. Last sailed on 10/10, currently located in Easthampton. Better hurry, before this hedge fund dude loses his job and has to live in it. Oh yeah, it sleeps four "in a pinch."
24' working sailboat



Just in case you were missing the swill they gave you at the job you used to have.
crappy coffee




This one is for those who need to store the weapons they accumulated for the militia upstate. You know, for when the revolution comes.
safe for the apocalypse



If you put casters on this, you would be the most awesome person peddling for quarters outside the Starbucks.
sickies wicker chair



For those interested in some industrial/marine decor...
steel poles filled with concrete



And finally, for the culinarily and agriculturally adventurous, I bring you yucca.
grow yr own yucca